Once upon a time, I had a shocking realisation – I was desperately in need of a dildo bat! Confused, I had no idea how to find such a bizarre item, and the few clues I had about its whereabouts weren’t helping me.
Still, I accepted the challenge and set out on my wild search. I went through every corner of Saints Row 4, peeking and snooping around, desperately hoping to spot the holy grail of dildo bats!
To my immense relief, I eventually stumbled across The Sandlers store. From the outside it looked like every other ordinary store, but lo and sex dolls behold, once I stepped inside, Penis Rings a wonderful treasure lay awaiting my discovery in one of the jam-packed shelves – the precious dildo bat!
At first, I thought I had finally reached the peak of my expedition. But then I noticed the other items in the store – an array of wacky items including a copy of John Cena’s autobiography, a jumbo comb, and even a Frying Pan of MASS destruction (quite impressive, if you ask me).
I quickly gathered whatever I could find and rushed out of the store like an enthusiastic shoplifter. As soon as I was back home, I outfitted myself with this strangest of items and set out on the most outrageous adventure of Saints Row 4.
Since then, any time I need an item like a dildo bat (or a jumbo comb), The Sandlers store is at the top of my mind. They seem to have anything one could possibly need for a crazy night in town! Sure, the shopkeeper might be a bit dodgy, but hey, one can totally overlook that –especially when you manage to find a Frying Pan of MASS destruction.
Expanding on the topic: The crazy range of items one can find at Sandlers is truly unparalleled. Along with dildo bats, they have a variety of gadgets, tools and weapons. From alien boomboxes to a pair of time-traveling shoes, Sandlers is the perfect place to hunt down items for the most outlandish shenanigans.
One of my favourite gadgets I got from Sandlers is the Rainbow Gimp Mask. It’s a first-class disguise, perfect for hiding one’s identity on Halloween or any other unusual occasion. It’s quite hard to get your hands on one without spending a fortune, but at Sandlers, it’s surprisingly generously priced.
As for weapons, there’s a huge range available at Sandlers. From the typical guns and swords to paintball guns and Psychotron weapons, there’s an option for everyone. My personal favourite is the legendary Stick of Destiny, a club known for its power to revive the dead. It can even convert a person into an ally for a short period of time – how wild is that?
But of course, what Sandlers is best known for is its tantalising array of consumables. Cases filled with various energy drinks, objects to help boosts your stats, and plenty of health-restoring items are some of the goodies one can find here. If you’re in need of a quick snack, look no further – there’s snacks aplenty! Anything from sour gummy peach rings to kevlar tacos and crab cannoli.
Apart from all these eccentric items, Sandlers is also home to other miscellaneous items. Remote control planes and cars, teleporters, and special transformation boxes can be found here if you look hard enough. With so many bizarre items to choose from, I can assure you that you’ll never run out of weirdness at Sandlers!
If you’re ever in Saints Row 4, I highly recommend visiting Sandlers to see (and sample) these unusual finds! Who knows, you might discover an item you didn’t even know existed!